Ron Paul: Libertarian or Panda?

Coincidence?

What’s that in the pantry?

Dear Reader,

First, what the heck is with those jokers at Salvati? I mean, the spices speak for themselves, but the dcm shaker

has got to go!!! Do these punks just like to mock their customers or are they completely inept? Come on! The holes in the shaker are big enough, but the darn thing just still doesn’t work. We will leave the scientific

explanation to someone else in some other forum, but what we have to say comes from what we’ve seen and done, pure and simple, folks. So, Mr. Salvati, are you just going to sit there in your big leather chair in your Mahogany den in your four story mansion and let discotejas/discotexas call bullshit on not only you, sir, but the entirety of the spice industry, or are you going to stand up and churn out a product you can be proud of? Where’s the culpability? Grrrrrr!!!

GFDC

I worked in a pet shop, where we sold animals and supplies to owners of animals. It worked out. One goldfish got really weird about being as deprived of meaning as it was. Anthropocentric, but illustration is hard? for me! It acted like other goldfish; it just died sooner. This goldfish and I have practically nothing in common (though I will die sooner than I’m buried…probably…so we have a word). Too many changes for this fella, I think. None of them probably that different. This is a pet shop goldfish. But they are different. Difference is alright for goldfish it seems. None of them seem offput if I feed them in patterns of pentagrams or caribou or other things I think about a lot when I feed golden fish. But if I take away what makes things strange or different, their whole context (like when I put a half cup of l s d in their soil or make them take bergman seriously) most of them don’t do a hot damn thing. This goldy fish, though, really flippered into lala . All to not do it. Ignoring devaru-chakras, it didn’t even happen. Our [you better take responsibility for this pal by now!] gfishy went all shiny happy flower rythm and just tuckered all out. Still though, GOLD fish make so little energy. our frIEnd really fucked the system.

I composed a song about it; the song went like this, and you can get a wax cylinder recording from iTunes’s store.

“I’ll grant you a wish

to be a fish

I’m adick adickted toDickCheney

For you

It’s the most I’ll ever do for you”
(After dICk Chaiiieeekkkny sent us this little anecdote he was fired for torturing people (this Pet Shop does not encourage ‘intensive interrogations) so he stopped selling dead dinosaurs and moved to selling happiness. What a killer!)

The Society for the Allocation of Texan Animals in the Northeast (SATAN)

The Society for the Allocation of Texan Animals in the Northeast (SATAN) was begun in 2008, housed out back of discotejas/discotexas. The creators of SATAN hope to create a welcome environment for the flora and fauna of Texas in the urban north, expanding outward from Williamsburg, Brooklyn and its environs. SATAN’s ultimate goal is to successfully assimilate these Texan critters and plants into the ecosystem and community of discotejas/discotexas and friends, in hopes of validating and developing the values and intentions of SATAN throughout each and every American metropolis.

Now, say “howdy” to SATAN’s newest little buddies:

This is a Turkey Vulture (Cathartes aura), common throughout all of Texas.

Behold the Texas Diamond-back Rattlesnake (Crotalus atrox), another frequently encountered Texas critter.

Oh! And here is the formidable Coyote (Canis latrans).

This is the Texas Prickly Pear Cactus (Opuntia engelmannii), alternately known as the “Cow Tongue’s Cactus,” the “Cow Tongue Prickly Pear,” the “Desert Prickly Pear,” the “Discus Prickly Pear,” “Engelmann’s Prickly Pear,” “nopal,” “abrojo,” “joconostle,” and “vela de coyote.”

Boy oh boy is that a happy looking mesquite tree! The Honey Mesquite (Prosopis glandulosa) is another Texas native.

Better watch out, boys and girls, ’cause those are Red Imported Fire Ants (Solenopsis invicta), themselves brought over to Texas from South America in the 1930s.

This here is the Black-tailed Jackrabbit (Lepus californicus), also known as the “Desert Hare,” a species of hare endemic to Texas.

The Nine-banded Long-nosed Armadillo (Dasypus novemcinctus) is If the state small mammal of Texas. The common roadside pest is also known as the “Poor Man’s Pig” or the “Poverty Pig.”

You better not get stung by this Striped Bark Scorpion (Centruroides vittatus), the most common scorpion in Texas. If you do, though, don’t worry too much: stinging fatalities from this species are extremely rare.

And, they put together a skit!

Rattlesnake: I slither.

Coyote: I run fast and yelp.

Buzzard: I eat corpses mostly, I presume.

End Act I

Act III

Buzzard: Why is no one talking. Are ya’ll being weird?

Rattlesnake: no…

Coyote: You’re greedily morbid.

Rattlesnake: And you’re a bourgie still-not-friend-o-f-s

Coyote: I meant that for the buzzard.

Encore VI VI VI

Buzzard: [chomp chomp, fork clatter] yum

Epilogue:

Coyote: hehe

And last, but certainly not least, SATAN and discotejas/discotexas would like to introduce you to our most highly anticipated new friend, Peyote (Lophophora williamsii), also called “Mescal Button” or the “Di[ e (oops!) ]vine Cactus.”

Lasagna Thursdays

Lasagna Thursdays was invented on a Thursday almost four weeks ago. No doubt you have heard about this weekly event if you have read older posts. It was simply one of those days you crave lasagna, and don’t know how to make it. So we improvised.

They wouldn’t fit in the small pot we had. The only pot we had. So we had to wait for the bottom half to get soft so the rest of it could go in. And we had to repeat this process about four times to get all the lasagna cooked. We bought an enormous pot the week after.

Putting the layers down; at this point we had nearly run out of sauce. This issue was taken care of the next week.

Random self-entertainment while waiting around for the lasagna to finish.

This is Igor, discotejas’ pet plant. He is in a much larger pot now as he has grown.

The final product; not bad for a bunch of non-Italians in an Italian neighborhood who had never done this before.

Play time after food.

Now That’s a President

Franklin Delano, now that’s a president!

my upstairs neighbor pushed the wall through with their fist and made a hole. then there was the doors. both were facistic, predetermined and reactionary. the windows were just too high. which is why, i think, my neighbor always practices landing.

Texas Pie

This was the Texas-themed pie we made to go with discotejas. Texas is a hard shape to get right, but if you can vaguely get it right, everyone will know what it is. Read the about me if you haven’t already to get a feel of discotejas. It’s Lasagna Thursday today, we are finishing up our third week of lasagna, it gets better every week. Terrible Eagle will top off the night.

Questions of Devaru: An interview in essay form

A while back, lost in the fallow fields out behind discotejas/discotexas we had the pleasure of turning devaru over several times in the soil and getting some pretty stimulating answers

Q: ?!

Devaru: If a western person complained of the hurt caused them by the clearing of a forest, an audience of peers might either consider the speaker very abnormal or reason that the forest played some important role in the individual’s life. The possibility that feelings might penetrate the boundaries of the individual or that the forest has value in its own right might more readily come to mind in an animistic group of listeners. Devaru pervade discotejas/discotexas, and are realized as special relationships between things. One key to understanding animism is a loosening of the western conception of the individual. In the Ojibwa, Nayaka, and discotejas/discotexas myths, a person exists through relationships with the environment.

Devaru: When one performs a devaru, the relationship they present is more important than a rigid mythical heroic individual. In fact, without an audience, the devaru leaves; it cannot possess a single person, only an interaction. This notion stands in sharp contrast to western notions not only of spirits, but also of the way in which people and their environments may interact. The secular individualist myth limits experience of interconnectedness in favor of bolstering the perceived control, often exercised aggressively, of people over themselves and their environment.

Devaru: Dreams are often either perceived as pure nonsense or as indicators of hidden internal conflicts, preoccupations, or wishes. The Senoi of Malaysia, however, believe that one must learn to behave properly in dreams in order to interact successfully with the spirits who visit humans in them. This reality functions very differently from waking reality, but one’s actions and experiences within it are as important, and sometimes more so, than those in waking life.