nobama norgans no-way!

no-way!

v rossii, rozoviye tufli ni modna

ayissor

The Hunt

The Hunt – A one act play

I

Martyr: I hope you have been practicing because we are going to backgammon soon.

Alchemist: No, friend, I hope you have been practicing. When may I accept said rematch?

Martyr: No my friend, I hope you have been practicing. It shall happen on the next full moon.

Alchemist: Sorry, man. Actually, Death and I will be busy aerial werewolf hunting on the next full moon (it’s kind of a side-activity on our previously planned tofu hunting expedition). So, unfortunately, we will have to reschedule.

Martyr: That is fine, just don’t hunt me…I allowed some doctors to do tests on me for about half a million Lei, it resulted in my body turning into pure tofu.

Alchemist: Hmm…I’m afraid I can’t make any promises. It’s really Death’s call, not mine, so you should state your case to him. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, though.

End of act I

Nard, A Backgammon Timelapse

Damn Cat

The Rat Ate The Cat

Let me tell you the story of one crazy cat and a rather daring rat.

Once upon a time there was a sleek and cunning cat
who spent his days prowling for tasty rats.
One, Two, Three, and Four
Rats kept dropping to be no more
Cunning and smart cat takes rats one right after the other
A fear struct through the rats
What will we do?
How can we eat?
Not one has survived
None left on their feet
tricks and traps
laid by cat
kept fooling rats
with none coming back
five, six, seven and eight
they were dropping like flies…. well, rats that is….
Is there none too brave? or none to smart?
none to take this cat and lay him flat?
flat on that curved sleek little back?

that is until one rat
one rat this cat couldn’t bat
Cat sat toying with rat
a jingle here
a piece of cheese there
but rat cooled himself from cat
no cheese
no jingle
no piece of apple core layed out for rat by cat was going to trap this cunning little rodent

A Duel! the rats rejoiced
could this rat be the one?
the one to take down the black ugly cat?
Rat spent his days learning of cat
seeing the traps
and reminding himself
“There is no cheese,
there is no meat,
there is no succulent fruit,
that is worth me being eaten by that fucking black cat!”

A battle of wits had begun!
oh the tension
oh the horror
oh the turbulation set in motion by that one black cat
and this tiny little rat.
facing each other the day has come.
the morning sun shone through the windows
a fog of dust hovered lightly over the floor
rats, hidden in clocks
hiding under chairs
and in a palethera of hiding places watched… waiting…
not wanting to see what happens
yet not able to divert their eyes.
“You,” said cat, “You will be mine by the end of the day
‘Mine to play with and make you do as i say,
‘I shall trick you and trap you
‘poke you and tease you,
‘make you wish for the day when you could have just run away,
‘a toy of mine you soon shall be
‘What will i do? well lets just see,
‘i can dip you in chocolate, or eat you in a cone
‘i might cook you then whip you and make you a foam!
‘I’ll tie you to a fan, I’ll poke, i’ll prod!
‘I’ll make you my experiment i’ll turn you to sod!”
The cat was rolling,
laughing with glee
for how could this cat, lose to the rat you see?

But the rat just sat
staring at the cat
for as scary as it might be, there was no going back.
“you might think your tough,
we know that your mean,
but what a day, when the pussy is stood upon by me!”
“so i can take all your tricks,
and i will dodge all your traps,
no more will you fool us, you ugly black cat!
we’re tired of your shit, we’re tired of your tact,
you can no longer scare me and that is a fact!
with you i will toy
and with you i will play
for no one is eating this cunning rat today!

a cocophony of squeeks
cheered on the rat
for the cooking was starting
and the dinner was cat.

A fierce battle began!
and all were agasp
as this big ugly cat, took on the black rat.
A rain of fun
a nashing of teeth
claws were swiping
but only one was to bleed
they chased! they dodged!
for as you might guess
that asshole cat laid traps for his guest.
but the rat was not dumb
and the rat stayed cool
he was the prey, but the cat was his fool.
Around and around this battle was raged
but in the end, it was the cat that was caged!
“Slam the door shut!” squeeked the tired rat
for in a trap sat, that ugly fat cat.
“I lost i lost i can’t believe i was tricked!
your gonna regret it, and i’ll make sure of this!”
but rat didn’t sweat, and rat didn’t tremble,
for cat was done, soon to be served from a ladle.

But the rat had to boast, he was full of glee.
he proceeded to tell cat his plans, while sipping his green tea.
“do you know the french? or how they cook?
take a look at this buddy!” as he showed cat a book.
the cat couldn’t believe it
for right before his eyes
was nothing less than cat stew suprise!

PairedPigeons

When I saw the two birds, I thought that they were lovers.  Both were blotched and ragged, as pigeons in the summer often are.  One lay on the pavement as though it were a nest.  How could there be an egg there?; so, I assumed this bird was legless.  It pecked between its wings, the other helped it out.  This one had yellow plastic tape stuck somehow to a foot.  It couldn’t get it off.  I saw it later trotting down a sidewalk alone.  Both birds looked so stricken.  They must have been lovers!  The tapey bird left the other bobbing its head and blinking.  This bird actually has legs that work fine; I saw it use them proficiently.  Still bedraggled, but I’m not so sure they’re lovers.

lasagna thursday timelapse

Straight Out of the Heart of Texas (not Austin)

The Texas Firehouse keeps its climate in accordance to southeast Texas law. Walking in is like walking home. You will find deadly frequencies amplified to reach the smog; only the strongest survive to become one with Devaru. Discotejas/Discotexas will celebrate with works of fire thursday and friday.