The Society for the Allocation of Texan Animals in the Northeast (SATAN) was begun in 2008, housed out back of discotejas/discotexas. The creators of SATAN hope to create a welcome environment for the flora and fauna of Texas in the urban north, expanding outward from Williamsburg, Brooklyn and its environs. SATAN’s ultimate goal is to successfully assimilate these Texan critters and plants into the ecosystem and community of discotejas/discotexas and friends, in hopes of validating and developing the values and intentions of SATAN throughout each and every American metropolis.
Now, say “howdy” to SATAN’s newest little buddies:
This is a Turkey Vulture (Cathartes aura), common throughout all of Texas.
Behold the Texas Diamond-back Rattlesnake (Crotalus atrox), another frequently encountered Texas critter.
Oh! And here is the formidable Coyote (Canis latrans).
This is the Texas Prickly Pear Cactus (Opuntia engelmannii), alternately known as the “Cow Tongue’s Cactus,” the “Cow Tongue Prickly Pear,” the “Desert Prickly Pear,” the “Discus Prickly Pear,” “Engelmann’s Prickly Pear,” “nopal,” “abrojo,” “joconostle,” and “vela de coyote.”
Boy oh boy is that a happy looking mesquite tree! The Honey Mesquite (Prosopis glandulosa) is another Texas native.
Better watch out, boys and girls, ’cause those are Red Imported Fire Ants (Solenopsis invicta), themselves brought over to Texas from South America in the 1930s.
This here is the Black-tailed Jackrabbit (Lepus californicus), also known as the “Desert Hare,” a species of hare endemic to Texas.
The Nine-banded Long-nosed Armadillo (Dasypus novemcinctus) is If the state small mammal of Texas. The common roadside pest is also known as the “Poor Man’s Pig” or the “Poverty Pig.”
You better not get stung by this Striped Bark Scorpion (Centruroides vittatus), the most common scorpion in Texas. If you do, though, don’t worry too much: stinging fatalities from this species are extremely rare.
And, they put together a skit!
Rattlesnake: I slither.
Coyote: I run fast and yelp.
Buzzard: I eat corpses mostly, I presume.
End Act I
Act III
Buzzard: Why is no one talking. Are ya’ll being weird?
Rattlesnake: no…
Coyote: You’re greedily morbid.
Rattlesnake: And you’re a bourgie still-not-friend-o-f-s
Coyote: I meant that for the buzzard.
Encore VI VI VI
Buzzard: [chomp chomp, fork clatter] yum
Epilogue:
Coyote: hehe
And last, but certainly not least, SATAN and discotejas/discotexas would like to introduce you to our most highly anticipated new friend, Peyote (Lophophora williamsii), also called “Mescal Button” or the “Di[ e (oops!) ]vine Cactus.”
